OMG!!! Loreen On Breakfast TV!

For the first time in YEARS the winner of Eurovision has been on UK TV! Hurrah! Loreen appeared on BBC Breakfast yesterday.

We're loving her clumpy shoes.... but what was that about Tooji and Norway coming last? "It's all about the performer", she says. OUTRAGEOUS! Tooji had schlager hair, schlager thighs and a wavy-arm bit in the dance routine! We could all just mumble along to a tune for three minutes while making up the dancing as we go along. We love you Loreen but how dare you diss Tooji!!

Loreen Comes Home!

It looks like the whole of Stockholm turned out last night to see Loreen land at Arlanda. She needs to be careful she doesn't drop that glass trophy as she tries to cling on to all the flowers everyone is giving her.

And here she is performing on a rooftop in Stockholm earlier this evening.

It starts of with a rubbish version with lots of violins, but then she goes into the original version. She should have just done that one twice. Christer can't help himself and gets in on the act too, along with Lord Thomas of G:Son. Sir Fredrik of Kempe is probably at home throwing darts at picture of Thomas as we speak.

We'll Miss You Per!

Oh no! Per Sundnes has announced that he is going to leave Melodi Grand Prix! It seems he has had a better offer from commercial TV station TV3. We'll miss him and his funny dancing at the start of every MGP final.

The Schlagerboys discovered MGP at the same time as Per joined the team in 2007. He was impressed with our giant Jenny Jenssen banners and asked her about them in the interval.

And since then he's managed to get Norway a win with Alexander Rybak, Maria Haukaas Storeng's 5th place, create Stella Mwangi as a new big-haired schlager diva and make sure he goes out on a high with Tooji and wavy-arm dance routine in this year's final.

Per obviously realises that there is nothing more to achieve after providing the photos for the Schlagerboys' recent daily "What's Tooji Doing Today?" feature and has now decided to leave MGP in much better shape than when he found it. We'll miss you Per!

Trumpet-phoria!

This is FABULOUS (even if it is a tiny bit of a racket too)!! Crown Princess Victoria must had had it commissioned especially so she could listen to it out of her window. The Royal Swedish Army band are putting in their bid to be the interval act next year already.

Euroglitz Fabulousness!

The Schlagerboys have returned to Birmingham after a schlagertastic Eurovision weekend in York. Here are our highlights:

- The Eurovision singlalong in the city centre. This has to be the most Schlagertastic event of the year! 50 Eurofans got together, hooked up a keyboard and busked for an hour to unsuspecting members of the public to raise money for charity. If someone had told the Schlagerboys they would be  singing "You And Me", "Beautiful Song" and "La La Love" while waving a Romanian flag in York city centre on a sunny Saturday afternoon we would think they were mad. The onlookers also got all the UK winners, "My Heart Goes Boom", "Don't Play That Song Again", "Ding A Dong", "I Can", "Lipstick", "Lets Get Happy" "Hero" and " If I Had Your Love". We finished the set with a rousing rendition of "Love Will Set You Free" which was frankly far superior to The Hump's version 5 hours later. Amazing!

- The pre-party.  Euroglitz kicked off at 5 oclock in the evening, upstairs at a bar next door to the cinema. To have a schlager Eurovision disco for two hours before the contest was inspired; it meant everyone was well  sloshed and in a state of excitable manic giddiness by the time 7:30 came around and we all stumbled next door to queue up the stairs to the big screen and sing "Love Will Set You Free" again.

- Watching the contest on a cinema screen = amazing. Highly recommended!

- The Euroglitz after party was in the same building as the screening. It was fab to come out of the show, high on a Schlager Swedish win and go down one flight of steps to another schlager disco. The Schlagerboys have been to a few after parties, but don't often get anthems such as "Fyra Buch Och En Coca Cola", "Sku Du Spor Fra Noen", "Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi" and "Love Games" played. We also got "Euphoria" about ten times which gave everyone ample opportunity to show off their Loreen routine.

- The disco ended with a traditionally rousing rendition of, "Hallelujah". To say Euroglitz was fab is an understatement. Douze points to the organisers, and next time the contest is somewhere a bit out of the way the Schlagerboys would like to request we do it all over again! Hurrah!

Schlager Comes Home!

The Schlagerboys are very happy today, celebrating a Swedish win at Eurovision. We were preparing ourselves for a win from Russia or Serbia  and another year of the contest being in a country where freedom and equality for everybody is not celebrated. But to have Sweden host Eurovision in 2013 is fantastic. The Schlagerboys are coming home!

Tooji was fab last night and as Norway took to the stage the Schlagerboys got all excited and jumped around alot. But it seems that everyone forgot to vote for him. Oops! And as for the UK.... what can you say? Dull ballad, on first, yawn yawn yawn, can't even remember the song.

Loreen was amazing and at the Euroglitz after party it was played about 14 times to mass singalong and wavy arm dance routines. "Euphoria" must be one of the best Eurovision winning songs ever. And of course we now have our first Lord Thomas of G:son first place! Schlager hero! Saviour of Eurovision! Lord Thomas we salute you! Can you write a song for the UK, please?

What's Tooji Doing Today?

Today Tooji is celebrating his friend Loreen winning Eurovision. Here he is as Loreen takes to the stage to perform her winning reprise. He looks as excited as we were when she won.

As he takes the plane home to Norway today Tooji can reflect on two fabulous weeks culminating in a fabulous performance last night on the Eurovision stage. Tooji is now a schlager icon; the Schlagerboys will be stalking him for the next ten years or so and we will be playing "Stay" and doing the thigh dance and wavy arm movements at every schlager disco from now on.

Douze points to Tooji! Norway, we love you!

And The Schlagerboys Vote For....

The Schlagerboys are making our final preparations for tonight. We are now beyond excited and we can't believe Eurovision is finally upon us. It's been a fabulous run up to the contest and there are about six songs tonight that we would be very happy to see at the top of the scoreboard in a few hours.

These are the songs the Schlagerboys want Europe to vote for tonight:

1. Norway: Tooji has become a schlager icon. We love "Stay" and we would love to be back in Oslo next year.
2. Sweden: Despite the mumbling we do love Sweden this year. Apparently last night in the rehearsal she choked on a bit of schlager snow. How she managed this when frankly she never opens her gob wide enough for us to hear her sing any coherent lyrics is beyond us but there you go. We would love to go to Stockholm in 2013 and "Euphoria" is a Eurovision anthem.
3. Italy: Loving Nina, quite like the song. Would be very happy to go to Rome next year.
4. Malta: Kurt is fab, "This is the night" is fab singalonga schlager and it has a dance routine. What's not to love? We would love to be in Valletta next year.
5. Romania: "Mandinga" is exactly the kind of song the Schlagerboys want in Eurovision. It's fun, you can sing along and the boys are cute. We are quite happy to go to Bucharest next year.

There are also a few songs we are not bothered about but it would be great to go to next year; mainly Germany, Ireland, Spain, Denmark, and of course UK.

There are only a couple of real nightmare scenarios; Russia is a dreadful song and we have no desire to go back there. Serbia is a dullathon and Belgrade was not welcoming to the gays in 2008. Albania is just ear splittingly dire.

We want to wish everyone a happy Eurovision. Keep the schlager faith! Vote schlager! Enjoy! Hurrah!

What's Tooji Doing Today?

Today Tooji is preparing to storm the scoreboard at Eurovision. It's also Tooji's birthday; Happy birthday Tooji! Here he is with the dozen red roses sent by the French backing dancers.

Here's Tooji coming out of the lift in his hotel and everyone is shouting, "Surprise"! Tooji squealed, dropped the flowers from the French backing dancers and went "Ooooh! You lot! You gave me a right turn!" just after.

Here is Tooji receiving a birthday cake from his new best friend Ivi Adamou from Cyprus. We're sure the French backing dancers are just off camera, probably doing one-handed press ups or something.

And finally here's an exclusive picture of Tooji before the product goes in to his hair. It just goes to show how much effort goes in to creating the perfect Tooji Schlager Hair. No wonder he's always wearing that flat cap.

Schlager Boat!

OH! MY! GOD! IT'S EUROVISION DAY!

The Schlagerboys are in York for Euroglitz; last night about one hundred UK euro fans powered up and down  River Ouse  in York on a boat dancing the night away to various euro tunes. Here are our highlights:

- The Schlagerboys were late arriving in York so everyone was on the boat when we joined it. As sailed in to view to pick us up there was a wonderful sight of a flag-strewn deck with lots of excitable fans aboard singing along to "Haba Haba". As the boat pulled up there was a spontaneous mass singalong of the Eurovision theme. Schlagertastic!

- Josh Dubovie did a set on board and bless him once he was on the boat there was no escape! After singing "That Sounds Good To Me" he told us we were his new family. he probably sees the Schlagerboys as rather embarrassing uncles permanently drunk in the corner.

- The disco was fab, every request was played which meant we got Jenny Silver, Tooji, Sweet Dreams, Bardo and Bucks Fizz. Someone had the bright idea of making a mic available for sort of karaoke. They probably regretted this once the Schlagerboys got hold of it for a third time. It all gets a bit fuzzy but we do recall doing a particularly fab rendition of "Stay" with full Tooji dance routine and hood effect.

- We don't actually remember getting off the boat but we must have because we seem to have woken up in the hotel room.

What's Tooji Doing Today?

Today Tooji has been celebrating his final qualification. And so have we; we never lost the schlager faith!

Here is Tooji walking out of a lift. As we can see there are paparazzi everywhere trying to get exclusive access to Tooji like what we've got. This bloke has been waiting all night and morning just to get a snap. He must be gutted Tooji isn't wearing his shorts.

Here is a photo of Tooji's dressing room. Ooh, look it's number 1! A schlager omen if ever there was one!

Tooji is busy making friends with some of the other contestants. here is Tooji standing close by the French backing dancers plucking up the courage to say "Bonjour" to the one sitting on the floor with his legs open. Go on, Tooji, be brave!

What's Your Number?

The Schlagerboys are now very excited about tomorrow night's Eurovision final. Although the first few are a bit tedious it gets all exciting in the middle when Tooji performs. He had a good firkle in the bowl with the envelopes during last night's winners press conference and managed to secure himself a plum spot in between two boring ballads.

The fabulous Gaitana turned up in her traditional flower head-gear and got herself a position right at the end (well, apart from Moldova). She looks quite happy with it.

Loreen mumbled her way through the press conference whilst wearing a silly hat. Christer looked worried as she pulled out an envelope. Hurrah! It's 17! Is that good? We've got no idea, but we'll pretend it's fabulous anyway!!

What's Tooji Doing Today!

Today Tooji has spread schlager joy across Europe and taken Norway to the final. Oh! My! God! Here he is about to go on stage. He is thinking about the Schlagerboys and channeling schlagertasticness. And clearly it worked!

Tooji is very happy! He is grabbing his friend Loreen and squealing! He is perhaps grabbing on to Loreen a little too tightly, but they are very happy!

Here is Tooji with his backing dancers celebrating at the moment when the hosts pulled Norway out of the virtual envelope. The Schlagerboys at this precise moment were jumping on the sofa knocking Pringles everywhere.

Tooji can't believe it either. All his schlager dreams have come true! Tonight has been amazing. The Schlagerboys can't wait for the final and are packing our Norway flag to take to Euroglitz in York. Oh! My! God! Schlagertastic!

Do Your Schlager Duty!

The Schlagerboys are beyond excited about tonight's semi-final. Tonight is much more exciting than Tuesday because it is less obvious who will qualify.There are bound to be some schlager shockers and we will be watching from behind a pillow when the envelopes come out later.

These are the songs we want Europe to vote for tonight; if these countries qualify there will be a light dusting of  schlager sparkle across the continent tonight:

Norway - Fab! Nice hair and thighs!
Sweden- Fab! Bonkers dancing and mumbled lyrics!
Ukraine - Honk! And fabulous flower headgear!
Malta: It's Malta!
Netherlands - singalonga guitar schlager!

And these are the nightmare scenario:
Georgia - Beyond awful!
Croatia - Dull and boring yawnathon!
Portugal- Ditto!
Slovakia- Eurgh! Loud guitars (and not nice ones like Joan's)

The rest we can give or take. Estonia's nice to look at for three minutes, Slovenia is quite dramatic and has a waily bit and a key change etc.

Europe, listen to your schlager hearts! Vote Schlager! Do your schlager duty! Power to the schlager! Hurrah!

What's Tooji Doing Today?

For goodness sake Tooji, you're supposed to use every opportunity to say "Vote for Norway!"

And where's the trendy headgear? And darling, it's not sarcasm it's proper journalistic integrity! We take this very seriously don't you know.

Good luck Tooji!

What's Tooji Doing Today?

It's all hotting up for Tooji. Last night he had the dress rehearsal that all those juries around Europe will have voted on. He must have been very nervous. Luckily Alexander Rybak was backstage to give Tooji some words of encouragement. Tooji looks a lot more relaxed now. We're not too sure why he's hanging round outside the Georgian dressing room though.

He's just about to go on stage and Tooji's dancers are doing their vocal warm-up exercises. Tooji's wondering why his backing singer has nicked his flat cap.

Phew! It's all over! Tooji can relax in the Green Room now. 

What's Tooji Doing Today?

Tooji has one more day to go before storming the Eurovision stage and Team Tooji are in full preparation mode.

Team Tooji never miss an opportunity to get in a quick dance practice. Here they are outside the Crystal Hall jusat after afternoon tea and someone said, "Let's do it right here right now!" so they did. Nice shorts!

Ooh! Here's Tooji in his nice shorts again back stage at the Crystal Hall. Oh My! Hasn't he got big feet....

And here is Tooji's friend Loreen. She's finally come to see Tooji to ask for help in finding lyrics for the verses of "Euphoria"; before now she's been making it all up on the spot. Now, what rhymes with "Schlager"?

Malta Schlager Mob Surprise!

The Schlagerboys are very impressed with Malta for organising a Flashmob dance to "This Is The Night" in the centre of Baku yesterday.

How fab to be doing your shopping when suddenly the Maltese entry blasts out and the square is filled with enthusiastic teenagers doing the dance routine around you! Loving the bit in particular where everyone crouches down and then jumps up; you know, the bit where the key change should be.

And bless Kurt for turning up in the second verse to lead the throngs from the front. The Schlagerboys may well organise our own Flashmob dance in our front room tomorrow night when people arrive for our Second Semi Final gathering. Ooh, it'll be just like in Baku, except for the secret police hanging around.

Something New To Talk About!

Oooh how exciting! The journalists in the press centre have something new to talk about today because it has been revealed that of the ten finalists from last night, one was saved by the juries and one was saved by the public!

Oh! My! God!

No doubt there will be people getting all in a lather over this snippet, saying Albania was the jury vote and Russia was the public vote, or Iceland was saved by the juries and Ireland was saved by the public.

If we were there we would be enjoying telling different people (in strictest confidence) that we had heard Romania was saved by the juries and Hungary was the public choice, or that Cyprus was the jury and Greece was the public etc etc. Hours of fun guaranteed.

Of course really it was Moldova and Denmark...but don't tell anyone!

How Appropriate!

Did the people organising this photo shoot not think about the wording on the poster behind Engelbert and Sabina? It seems a tad unfortunate to have them posing in front of a poster with the phrase; "When  music dies" coming out of The Hump's head.

Oops!